Relationships
Tall dark and handsome, a girl that has just been kissed by the sun, these are some characteristics that attract people to the opposite sex. What attracts you to the opposite sex? Is it a facial feature? Someone with a funny, caring, romantic, personality? Are you a go getter when it comes to meeting other people, or someone who lets them come to you? Maybe you’re just a gold digger. No matter what you style or game is chances are your dating experience, and relationship etiquette is directly related to that of the culture that you’re surrounded by. American dating culture tends to have a numerouse amounts of dates, and typically will end up dating a handful, or two, of people before they decide that it’s really time to settle down. The Chinese culture typically goes on very few dates, and dates very few people before their married.1 There are other aspects that go into a relationship that are driven by a person’s history. When does one introduce their significant other to their family, or their extended family. Pre-marital sex in some cultures is strictly forbidden, while other tends to overlook the concept. In my paper I plan to cover some topics that vary from the American culture to the Chinese culture, and what is right and wrong between the two cultures.
Intro: For many people a first date is a very exciting time.
I. Casual dating is something that many Americans do.
A. A first date consists of going to a movie or out to eat.
B. Normally is set up through texting, or someone asking the opposite sex if their busy on a specific day.
C. Casual talking and getting to know each other is normal.
II. Chinese dating is a little different then how It’s done in America.
A. Chinese girls won’t go on a first date with someone unless she has strong feelings for a guy.
B. A mutual friend arranges a dinner of six to eight people including the two who he or she is trying to introduce.1
1. This may be intentional, or may be a blind date.1
2. The two who are interested in each other won’t be seated next to eachother.1
C. The social arrangement makes it convenient for each party if there isn’t similar interest.
1. Parties don’t have to deal with break ups if the first date doesn’t go good.
2. It’s a way to find out about someone without committing yourself.
3. Friends can help to keep conversation going and stay away from awkward situations.
D. This is not considered a first date.
III. First dates are understood by people of different cultures differently.
A. Any American goes on a first date without any clue as to if the opposite sex is the one who they want to marry.
B. If a Chinese girl agrees to go out on a date with a man she is formally acknowledging this man is a candidate for marriage.1
1. A second date is considered a distinct possibility or marriage.1
2. Third date will be perceived as mutual interests by both sides.1
Conclusion: First dates can be perceived differently from people of different cultures. Make sure to be careful of what vive one may be sending when dating someone outside their culture.
Intro: How relationships are maintained vary by where you were born, and how you where raised.
I. Chinese girls tend to take care of their man more then what American girls do.
A. Chinese girls tend to look out for their guys and do more tasks to show that they are worthy of being a good wife.
1. These women normally control the family finances so men don’t go out looking for the “new girl.”3
2. The male is typically known to take care of providing enough finances to support the family.3
3. The wife may have a smaller job, but takes care of the house, and her husband.3
A. Females normally take care of the daily house chores and the children.3
4. Chinese women tend to take a lot of pride in keeping the male happy.3
II. An average American relationship shows both males and females share equal roles.
1. Today many couples have full time paying jobs, and are equally responsible for providing income for a family.
2. Couples do things to try and keep the other spouse happy.
A. Things around the house are normally done by both parties.
B. There is a lot of give and take on entertainment that provided happiness for the opposite sex.
Conclusion: What you look for in a relationship varies on where you are from. You might be surprised to find out that someone from another culture might hold the key to your happiness.
Intro: So when is it finally time to introduce the one to your parents? This process can be feared by many.
I. Americans tend to introduce their significant other pretty early in the relationship.
1. It’s not uncommon to meet the family to make sure that one’s partner fits in.
2. Some people may introduce numerous people to their parents and extended family.
II. The Chinese culture differentiates on this majorly.
1. Chinese women tend to tell their mother about a guy only when she has serious intentions of marriage.1
2. It is rare for a women in china to talk to her mom about more than one or two guys.1
3. When a couple takes the steps to meet the parents in the western world, this is a sign of engagement.1
Conclusion: This is one of the areas that could be scary to someone if they didn’t understand what they meant by their actions. First impressions are a vital in the Chinese culture, because it might be the only first impression they’ll ever have.
Intro: Pre-marital sex is something that for many countries is unheard of.
I. The American culture tends to not have a problem with this.
A. Sex often occurs in a relationship before a couple is married.
1. Pregnancy prevention is introduced to both parties at a young age.
2. The government helps by producing controlled childhood centers, and information.
B. Some couples will have a child before they are married.
1. Families help so support those who are one spouse parents.
2. It’s not uncommon for people to have children with different people.
II. The Chinese culture frown upon pre-marital sex.3
A. If a couple has a baby the father of the female rarely lets her stay with her partner.3
B. It is not uncommon for a 30 year old to be a virgin waiting tell they get married.1
C. Sex with a Chinese woman normally shows their intention of marriage.1
Conclusion: Sexual intentions vary from culture to culture. Making sure of what your partners intentions are is a great way to keep someone from getting hurt.
People’s outlook on other cultures and their relationships might change if they took the time to get involved, and to understand how people where raised. Pre-marital sex is looked at differently from people of different cultures. A lot of how people go about their business deals with how they were raised and what they saw their parents do as they were growing up. If you’d like to get to know someone without so many strings attacked then the Chinese culture is for you. If getting to know a lot of people and going on a lot of dates until you’re sure about the guy you want to marry is your style. Well hello America. For some people none of this has any influence how what they do. Maybe your ways are set on finding someone so you never have to work again in your life, or maybe it’s has to do with personal style or personality. But, sometimes you just have to go outside your box and discover the world around you. You can’t see the world from your door step.
Refrences
1. Http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/dating-etiquette-sex-relationships-china.htm retrieved on 4/17/11
3. Interview with He, Yen
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